Wedding Traditions and Folklore
In the days of Knights and Ladies it wasn't uncommon for the groom to kidnap his bride. As the ladies' family might show up fighting, the groom stood to the officiant's left so as to have his right sword hand free. The "best man" was there to provide an extra sword should anyone show up and try to claim the bride back.
The "Bridal Party", although a custom in Roman days, got its modern structure, some say, in Anglo Saxon days when the groom was about to capture (kidnap) his bride and he needed the help of his friends. The "bridesmen" or "bridesknights" had the duty to assure the bride got to the Church, and after the wedding, to the groom's house.
In medieval times a wedding was many times just the union of property, money and lineage...not a union of two lovers. These unions were considered "real", sanctioned by the Church and done with as many people as possible to witness it.
The tradition of "handfasting" held sway for some time in Great Briton and Europe. It was done in areas where priests and ministers were lacking. The couple would pledge their betrothal by joining hands, the groom's right hand in the bride's right hand, his left to her left, so from above they looked like an infinity symbol. Done in front of witnesses, this made them "officially" married for a year and a day, at which time they could renew their marriage permanently or for another year and a day. Sharing a cup and pledging their bethothal in front of witness (usually in a tavern) accomplished the same thing. Handfasting eventually was outlawed in Europe.
In medieval times, friends, relatives and guests accompanied the bridal couple to the marriage bed. Over time, this became incredibly rowdy as some guests got way over-eager to help the bride out of her clothes. Sometimes both men and women would sit at the end of the bed and throw the brides' stockings over their shoulder, the one to hit the bride on the nose would recieve good luck and fortune (1648). To save their modesty, the brides began to toss their garters to the crowd as a distraction. This became the tradition we now know as THE GARTER TOSS. As time went on, it became improper to throw parts of ones' underwear and THE BRIDAL BOUQUET TOSS was substituted for the garter. Sometime in the 20th century the garter toss was added back in to the ceremony for the men.
Over time, almost anything the bride wore was considered lucky for the person who could get it off of her, but any man who got the bride's garter and gave it to his own true love would be guaranteed she would be faithful. It was said that at times, because it was so valuable, men would accost the bride at the altar and steal it from her. Some brides then began to have men compete for it (a race, for example) or give out small colored ribbons called "favours" to avoid being turned upside down by eager men desparate for her garter.
In 1499, Anne of Brittany wore the first known white wedding dress in her wedding to Louis XII of France. Women just wore their best dress up until then, but as people loved to follow the example of royalty, white wedding dresses started to be in vogue after that. Of course, women in China and Japan were wearing white as a matter of tradition...white being the color of mourning, symbolizing that the bride was leaving her family to join her husband's family, thus undergoing a symbolic death.
PROPOSALS, WEDDING RINGS AND OTHER STUFF FROM ANCIENT EGYPT TO MODERN TIMES
Los Angeles Wedding Officiant & Marriage License Service... The Marrying Guy®
In ancient Egypt, when the father of the bride gave his daughter to the groom, dad would give his daughter's sandles to the groom to show that she now belonged to him. In later Anglo Saxon times, the groom would tap the heel of the bride's shoe to show his authority over her. Later on, somehow this shoe fixation evolved into people throwing shoes at the couple...eventually turning into the tradition of tying shoes to the bumper of the couple's car for good luck.
The word "Honeymoon" first was used in the 16th century. The term came from the tradition of the bride drinking mead (made of brewed, fermented honey) for one month (a lunar cycle) after the wedding ceremony to assure fertility and the 1st born to be a male.
Another version of the birth of the phrase "Honeymoon" comes from the days when the groom would take his bride by force. The custom was that the groom would go into hiding for a period equal to a lunar cycle (29 days) and would keep his bride plied with mead (the potent alcoholic brew made from honey). Thus, the phrase "Honeymoon" was born. After this period was over, the bride's family would probably have calmed down or given up and then the groom could safely bring his bride home.
When a gentleman used to send a pair of gloves to his true love and she wore them to church on Sunday, it meant she accepted his proposal.
Centuries ago, the right of women to propose on the 29th of February on leap year started. Leap year day was "leap over" and ignored, so the day had no legal status under English law. With that, people figured that since the day had no legal status, then traditions had no status either. So, women who figured they might not be getting a proposal
any time soon took advantage of the day to propose to the man they wished to wed.
Giving gifts dates from the 1890's when once a friend of a bride placed small gifts inside a Japanese parasol, opened it and let all the presents "shower" over the bride's head. When this was reported in the fashion pages, it became an overnight tradition Thus, the "shower" as we know it was born.
In ancient Greece, Spartan soldiers first held "Stag Parties". The groom would be the guest for a feast with all his male friends on the night before the wedding...thus saying goodbye to the carefree days of being a bachelor. He would also swear continued allegiance to his comrades.
ENGAGEMENT AND WEDDING RINGS
Diamond engagement rings were popular with medieval Italians (1400's)
as they believed that the diamond was created from the "flames of Love".
Ancient Greeks believed the diamond reflected the flame of love, thinking them to be the teardrops of the gods.
Romans believed diamonds to have romantic powers, believing them to be spinters of falling stars that once tipped the arrows of Eros, the god of love.
In the Middle Ages the power to bring together estranged marriage partners was attributed to diamonds.
Rings were used in marriages in ancient Rome but were most likely made of iron, as it would be extremely bad luck if your ring should be of weak material and break.
In ancient times it was believed that the third finger of the hand had a vein that went directly to the heart. That finger being the best place to wear a ring that symbolized love.
The engagement ring represents the promise of the couple's future, sealed with the giving and accepting of a ring.
The diamond became the symbol of betrothal as its clarity and brilliance was believed to represent innocence and purity, and its strength signifying the hope of an enduring love.
Many years ago, brides were expected to have a dowry, the dowery being money, goods or an estate she brought to her husband...this being Provided by the bride's family. With that, the groom also paid a "price" for his bride and agreed to support her and provide for her.
THE WEDDING MARCHES
Music from two classical composers is used in traditional weddings. As the bride walks down the aisle, she usually does so to the majestic "Bridal Chorus" from Richard Wagner's 1848 opera "Lohengrin". After the ceremony is completed, the couple exits to the jubilant "Wedding March" from Felix Mendelssohn's "A Midaummer Night's Dream". Of course, a friend of mine came down the aisle to the theme to "Jaws", so there's nothing that keeps you from creating your own traditional wedding music.
In ancient and biblical times, the color of purity was blue, not white. In Roman times white was the color of joyful celebration, in the 20th century...purity, and today...a symbol of happiness.
Green was always avoided, as it was thought to be unlucky. To say a girl 'had a green gown' also implied that she was of loose morals, because her dress would be grass-stained due to rolling around in the fields! Hence..."Marry in Green, ashamed to be seen".
Although Anne of Brittany supposedly wore the first white wedding dress and started its' popularity, the white dress really caught on during modern times because of Queen Victoria. In the 1840's, Queen Victoria chose white instead of the traditional royal "silver" wedding dress and broke a long standing tradition.
A white dress soon took on the symbolism of purity and virginity and was also thought to ward off evil spirits.
Other traditions are: the bride should never make her own dress, the final stitch should not be completed until she is departing for the Church and she should never try on the entire outfit before the wedding day. This was because it was felt dangerous for the Bride to count her chickens before they're hatched.
Married in White, you have chosen right
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Blue, you will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Brown, you will live in the town,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink
Early Brides and Bridesmaids wore similar dresses in order to confuse evil spirits.
The Bridal Veil
When marriages were arranged by family members, the newlyweds very rarely were allowed to see one another. Family members exchanging a dowry were afraid that if the Groom didn't like the appearance of the Bride's face, he might refuse to marry her. This is why the Father of the Bride "gave the Bride away" to the Groom at the actual wedding ceremony. Only after lifting her veil just prior to the ceremony did the Groom see the Bride's face for the first time! Early Greek and Roman Brides wore red or yellow veils to represent fire, and to ward off demons.
During the medieval and renaissance periods, wedding dresses were basically just more elaborate versions of contemporary styles, displaying a wealth of intricate embroidery, beading, expensive fabrics, and dyes. In fact, up until the late 19th century, (even with the example of Anne of Brittany) many brides continued to wear just about any color for their wedding gown, including black if the intended bridegroom was a widower. For example, in early Celtic cultures, red was the bridal color of choice, worn to invokefertility, as evident in Elizabethan silk weaver turned balladeer Thomas Deloney's description of a German bride's attire as a "gowne of sheepes russet, and a kirtle of fine worsted."
Although many peasant brides of the 13th and 14th centuries wore gowns dyed with woad (a herb of the mustard family which produced a vibrant but easily-faded blue dye), green was also a popular wedding gown color, as shown by Madame Arnolfi in Jan Van Eyck's Wedding Portrait, painted in 1434.
"SHOTGUN WEDDINGS" have probably occured throughout history and in every culture, although bows and arrows, spears and such were the tools of force before shotguns were invented. The reasons for such forced weddings varied, but the main reason was usually that the bride was in a "family way". Weddings like this were very common in the past (In fact, in the puritan colonies of New England, such weddings were very common...the bride's age usually being about 15). The moniker "shotgun wedding" probably started sometime in the last half of the 19th century, although the place and time the phrase became popular is a little fuzzy.
Aside from being an alternative to the garter toss in medieval times, the carrying of flowers by the bride also came from ancient times when it was believed that strong herbs and spices carried by the bride would keep away evil spirits, bad luck and ill health.
In Roman times, the bride and groom wore floral garlands that meant new life and hope for fertility. The bouquet later signified the full bloom of womanhood.
In the 19th century, each flower had it's own meaning and different flowers were sent back and forth as messages between the bride and groom before the wedding, each flower having a special meaning and association.
Later, the flowers used for such messages were adapted into the bride's bouquet and are sometimes used by brides today.
Traditionally, the bride's bouquet is made of white flowers and have fillers such as ferns and baby's breath to give a touch of green.
The bride's bridal party goes back to ancient times, the Romans dressing the bridesmaids in dresses similar to the bride's to confuse evil sopirits that might kidnap the bride.
In medieval times bridesmaids also fought off unwelcome suitors, protecting the bride for her groom.
The primary function of the bridesmaids has remained over the ages. Acting as a support system, confident, defender and friend.
Throwing Rice
By believing that newlyweds brought good luck, guests used to shower them with nuts and grains to insure a bountiful harvest, and many children to work the land. During years of a poor harvest, rice was tossed instead. This tradition continues today with rice or birdseed (where permitted), or bubbles to wish the Bride and Groom much happiness. Incidentally, it is not true that birds eating rice thrown after a wedding ceremony will cause their stomachs to enlarge and eventually explode. This myth may have simply evolved from church and synagogue employees weary from cleaning up after every wedding ceremony!
CARRYING THE BRIDE ACROSS THE THRESHOLD
(Some possible beginnings of the tradition, first cited in 1549)
Some say this came from the belief that the couple were very susceptible on their wedding day to evil spirits. Carrying the bride across the threshold created a protective layer between the floor and the bride, thus protecting her from "the ground monster". In even earlier times, "demons" were said to follow the bride home after the wedding and for the same reason just stated, she was carried across the threshold, creating a barrier against the demons from then on.Many years ago it was considered "unlady like" for the bride to show outright willingness to "give herself" to her husband (even if she was actually willing and ready). So, at the entrance to the wedding (bedroom) chamber, the groom would carry her into the room, thus giving the bride a "cover" for her secret passion.In medieval times, when brides were actually kidnapped into marriage, often she had to be dragged or carried into the bed chamber. This, some say, evolved into the tradition as we know it.Tradition states that a new wife must enter her new home by the front (or main) door and not trip or fall going in, as this would bring on bad luck. So, to avoid that possibility, the groom carries his bride into the dwelling.
In ancient times and into the middle ages, to protect the bride from "ground demons" during the wedding, flowers and flower petals were strewn in her path to create a protective barrier between her feet and the evil spitits. This tradition continues even today.
Although bridal white, as a token of the bride's purity and innocence, is a relatively new concept, there is historical precedent for it. Henry IV of England's daughter, Princess Phillipa, is reported to have worn a tunic and mantle of white satin, edged with velvet and ermine, at her marriage to Eric of Pomerania (Denmark), in 1406. Anne of Brittany, daughter of Francis II, wore white at her third marriage in 1499 to Louis XII of France while in 1527, Marguerite of Valois is said to have married Henri of Navarre robed in white ermine and covered by a blue coat with a five-foot train.
Additionally, Mary, Queen of Scots, wore white to her wedding with the Dauphin of France in 1558, deliberately flouting the French custom that white was only to be worn in mourning for French royalty. (Ironically, her husband died two years later.) Similarly, Queen Elizabeth I is painted in her later portraits wearing white, many believe in "mourning" over the death of the Duke of Alençon, one of her proposed husbands-to-be, in order to prevent the presentation of additional suitors.
When England's 16-year-old princess Elizabeth married Frederick of Bohemia in 1613, all the maids and the princess were robed in ephemeral white and silver tissue trimmed with silver lace. Princess Elizabeth's train of silver and sleeves, solidly encrusted with diamonds, were worth a princess' ransom. She wore her hair loose, hanging to her waist, with a crown of gold. The wedding, with gowns and dowry, cost her father £95,000, or over $5 million in today's currency!
Lavish royal weddings were paid for (until the 1550s), by marriage taxes levied on landowners. Homelier weddings resorted to less elaborate dress and accoutrements. A witness in 1597 recounted the wedding of a middle-class bride: "The bride...was led to church between two sweet boys with bride laces and rosemary tied about their silken sleeves. There was a fair bride cup of silver gilt carried before her, wherin was a goodly branch of rosemary, gilded very fair, hung about with silken ribands of all colours. Musicians came next, then a groupe of maidens, some bearing great bride-cakes, others garlands of wheat finely gilded, and thus they passed into the church; and the bridegroom finely apparelled, with the young men followed close behind. The ceremony ended in a riotous manner: the young men tore ribbons, garters, and bridal laces from the bride as souvenirs, later the crowd raucously escorted the bridal couple to their bedchambers."
"Bold Coats" By the 14th century, the cotehardie, or "bold coat"--a close-fitting dress-like garment with a train--had become the traditional wedding gown. Laced up the back or front, the cotehardie had long, tight sleeves, and a full slit up the front to show the underdress, which also carried a train. Cotehardies were made from precious fabrics such as silk brocades and for the wedding, a cotehardie was worn with a belt of gold, encrusted with jewels.
The bride's trousseau included three dresses: her cotehardie, which could be worn again for special occasions, a good dress for Sundays, and an everyday dress. Regardless of fortune, she traditionally wore only three ornaments: a ring representing eternal vows and true love; a brooch as a token of chastity and a pure heart; and a crowning garland, worn over loose, flowing hair, symbolizing virtue.
This period also saw the popularity of the jeweled cap and the linen coif, a short, opaque headdress worn over conical spirals of hair. But by the next century, a long, conical headdress known as the henin was in vogue. Worn tilted back on the head, the henin featured a long, sheer veil which cascaded from the point to the ground. But during the 16th century, veils had gone out of fashion, and women began sporting small, brimmed hats.
In 1604 the belief started that if the sun shined on the bride, she would have good fortune.
In 1615 the belief started that marrying prematurely would bring on premature death.
In 1592 unmarried elder sisters were supposed to dance barefooted at the wedding party to bring them good fortune and possible husbands.
THE FIRST KISS at the initiation of the engagement and after the completion of the ceremony dates back to Roman times where the kiss represented a legal contract.
"Something old, something new,something borrowed, something blue,and a lucky (silver) sixpence for your (her) shoe"
(from the late 19th century)
First cited in 1659 and mentioned in an 1883 newspaper article, "something old" was supposed to protect the baby born of the marriage. Today it is supposed to represent a link to the bride's family and the past. Some brides choose to wear a piece of family jewelry or a wedding gown worn by their mother or grandmother.
"Something new" (also quoted in the 1883 article) has no citations before then but represents good fortune, success, and a bright future. The wedding gown is usually chosen as the new item.
"Something borrowed" (1883 article) is supposed to be lucky for the bride and is meant to remind the bride that family and friends will be there for her when help is needed. It was especially lucky to borrow something worn by a bride from a previous wedding.
"Something blue" (1883 article) is usually the garter, and the blue color represents faithfulness and loyalty.Blue also denotes purity.
"and a lucky (silver)sixpence for (in) your (her) shoe." wishes the bride wealth in the marriage. There is a 1774 record of a Scottish groom using a sixpence in his shoe to ward off evil from his rival and in 1814 there is a citation of a bride "wearing a piece of silver in one of her shoes" to protect her from evil from disappointed suitors.
In the 20th century, a tradition of the bride walking on a gold coin started. This was supposed to bring her prosperity.
Have fun with this page. If you can think of anything to add to it...
send it to me.
