Wedding Tips and Advice - A Wedding Primer from the Los Angeles Wedding Officiant The Marrying Guy®

1. If you need something to steady your nerves, try to keep that little "relaxer" from becoming a "knock-out shot". It would be nice if you remember the actual ceremony.
2. Caution your wedding party of the same thing. I once spent part of a wedding trying to keep a best-man upright and from passing out.
3. Never have someone do a reading or "speak from their heart" during your ceremony if that person has been imbibing. I once had a father of the bride get all teary eyed as he went on and on about his daughter's diaper changing and potty training - with the bride and groom staring agape in dismay.
4. Attention Brides! You think it's hard to walk down the aisle or climb steps in a wedding dress with a train. Well, try it after too many drinks and you're in for a real challenge!
5. Fire and alcohol don't mix. I once had a bride and groom so looped that I spent some very anxious moments reaching out to an unsteady bride to keep her gauzy wedding dress from igniting from torches placed on the wedding arch for "atmosphere". The same caution for Unity Candles - pretty, but flammable.
6. NEVER have a host bar open as the ceremony is about to begin. I've had times when guests absolutely refused to set down for the start of the ceremony because getting their drinks was more important.
7. Limit the amount of time a bar is open before the ceremony starts. Guests who have too much to drink beforehand often hang out and talk during the ceremony - acting like they're at a Vegas review.
8. REMEMBER, your wedding ceremony is the most important part of the day. Try and keep the wild times for the reception (and better yet, the wedding night)!

LITTLE DARLINGS, OR...
CALL IN THE SWAT TEAM!

OK, children are adorable, and we all were children at one time. But I also remember I could throw a really mean tantrum when I was little... and I guarantee you nothing has changed since I was small. Have a plan as to what should be done if children get out of hand. Discuss this with the children's parents beforehand so they will know what's expected of them. Children running amok during a wedding ceremony is adorable for about 60 seconds -and then it gets ugly.

If you're going to place a
runner down for the bride,
consider the following:

1. Don't let anyone walk on it before the bride makes her entrance. It will get dirty or torn and it's bad luck
(so they say).
2. If the runner is of light weight material and there's a wind... don't forget to bring tape to tape it down. If the runner is on dirt or grass and can't be taped, try using some small tent pegs (or golf tees) to keep it in place (just make sure that the pegs or tees aren't sticking up where someone could trip over them).
3. If the runner is of a thinner material (as compared to say, carpet), and it is placed over thick grass... it can be like glue to walk on. The runner will poof out as each person steps on it and I've seen some (actually very funny) moments as parents, bridesmaids and the like toppled over into the laps of those sitting next to the aisle). If on grass: Use a thick runner like carpet or place plywood or some other hard material down underneath it.
4. If it's windy: Don't sprinkle the flowers down on the runner until the last moment. They could blow away before the bride gets there. Better yet, if it's windy, just leave the flowers entirely to the flower girls.
5. If people must walk on the runner before the ceremony begins, think about choosing a colored runner to hide the footprints and dirt.
6. And of course, if there is no wind and the runner is on a roll... just roll it out after everyone is seated.
7. And better yet... if there is little or no wind, don't even use a cloth runner. Just sprinkle flowers on the path the bride will take.
8. And even better yet! Have the bride arrive on a motorcycle, roller skates, in a horse-drawn carriage, by parachute or whatever strikes your fancy. Who said you even have to walk down the aisle?

THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY
WEDDING PLANNERS AND/OR COORDINATORS

Ok, the honorable profession of Wedding Planners and/or Coordinators is one I am hesitant to speak about - after all; I have to work with these people. BUT, I would be derelict in my duties not to give you at least this heads up - BEWARE!
Yes, not all wedding coordinators are created equal. In fact, some are created almost instantly - working as a helper at a few weddings, then opening shop and billing themselves as a veteran wedding planner. Here's the breakdown:
The Good: This is a person with an innate sense of organization; after years of experience he or she is ready for almost anything: able to multi-task in the face of a logistical nightmare, possessing the commanding presence and authority of a Top-Sergeant, the patience of a fisherman, the eye of an artist, the skills of a craftsman and the diplomatic ingenuity of a Secretary of State... if you find one like this, latch on and don't let go!
The Bad: This person really tries and, for the most part, gets the job done. However, he or she might be a knife and a fork short of a full place setting. You can spot these coordinators by the holes in the soles of their shoes - caused by running great distances back and forth while accomplishing little. They do mean well, though.
The Ugly: An embarrassment. I've seen a few of these in my time and I don't know whether to get angry at them or send them a sympathy card. This person's mom must have really poured on the encouragement. That would be the same type of motherly encouragement that says: "It's ok honey... if anybody can jump out of an airplane without a parachute and survive, you can! Go ahead, I believe in you!" (Splat!)

PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES

I've officiated weddings at some of the most posh of wedding venues, only to find that the site is underneath the landing and take off path for the local airport, next to railroad tracks or with only a hedge acting as a barrier from a busy truck route or night club (Hint: drunks coming out of a bar don't care that you're getting married).
WARNING: When booking your wedding venue, ask about noise from outside the venue that might interrupt your ceremony. EXAMPLE: There is a site in Long Beach, CA that is quite beautiful, but some ceremonies are booked at the same time of the year that outdoor festivals are taking place just a stone's throw away. I love the music of loud Celtic rock bands, but not while I'm trying to be heard during a wedding ceremony.
REMEMBER: When booking your venue - ASK, ASK, ASK these questions. Don't rely on the venue being forthcoming about these possible distractions. Most venues are focused on getting the booking... period!

1. The father of the
bride who was late
to the wedding, rushed into his tux and walked down the aisle with his daughter in hand with his fly wide open. Grooms and all the rest of you... Hey guys! Zip up before you go out there.
2. Likewise for the bridesmaids who have outfits that are more fit for an evening of night clubbing than a wedding.
3. Oh, and I love weddings at golf clubs where the groom decides to play a round of golf berfore the ceremony and gets back to change at the last minute. Of course, one time the groom forgot to take off his golf shoes and didn't notice until the noise of his cleats sounded out as he walked down the concrete aisle. Guys!... this does not make for a happy bride and bodes ill for her tolerence of your weekend sporting ventures in the future.

PRINCESS:
This gal will have everything pre-planned and understands that regardless of what happens on her wedding day... if she ends up married to man of her dreams when evening comes, then it was a perfect wedding. She would have done the following:

1.Started far enough in advance to have all the details finished before the wedding day.
2. Delegated most, if not all, of the wedding day chores to those she trusts.
3. Confirmed everything with her vendors the day before.... wedding cake, DJ, etc. and made
sure they were absolutely clear on how to get to the wedding location on time.
4. Left it to someone else to deal with relatives, and all their egos. The person she chose for this would have had the skills of a diplomat.
5. Decided a long time ago that she was going to be positive and have fun on
her wedding day. All Grinches were to stay away!

BRIDE-ZILLA:

This very Type A personality decided that she would personally take charge of everything that happens on her wedding day. She doesn't trust anyone to make sure that her wedding will be PERFECT... and if things don't go precisely as she planned, then her day is RUINED.
This bride makes sure she:

1. Yells at those who are doing things wrong.
2. Yells at those who are doing things right but might do something wrong.
3. Yells at the groom when he tells her to chill out.
4. Yells at the vendors who arrived late.
5. Yells at the vendors who got there too early.
6. Yells at her relatives.
7. Yells at her friends.
8. Forgets and yells at herself....oops!
9. Runs around to make sure all the place settings for the reception are perfect...
seconds before walking down the aisle.
10. Notices during her vows that one of the bridesmaids is not standing
with the proper posture. (Makes a mental note to yell at her later)
11. Can't believe how everyone dares to be so inept on her wedding day.
Don't they know how important everything is?
12. Knows that her suspicion of a wedding day conspiricy against her is true.
What else would explain why everyone is trying so hard to ruin her day?

1. FOR SUNNY LOCATIONS: When researching the wedding venue, ask about shade and the position of the sun during the time of the year you will have your ceremony. Tuxedos in the bright sun can seem like straight-jackets after a few minutes.
2. If you can't keep out of the sun or if your wedding is during a hot time of year, consider all the following:
* Wear sunscreen.
* Try to stay out of the sun until just before the start of the ceremony.
* If there is an electrical outlet, consider having a small stand-up fan off to the side. Just a little bit of air movement can make a great difference.
* Keep hydrated (that means drink plenty of water).
* Best of all - have everyone wear Hawaiian shirts and shorts!
3. For your guests, consider the following:
* Have cold water available.
* Provide hand-held fans (you can even make these from card stock to save money).
* Have umbrellas or parasols available for your guests (you can rent them from some party houses).
4. IN CASE OF RAIN:
* Have an alternative location selected beforehand and have instructions for your vendors already laid out should this happen.